祈晴物语

yo...it's merdeka day today. happy birthday malaysia.erm...about yesterday's performance... dunno y we din sing national anthom and state anthom. and i am not really sure wether are we bowing or not so some bow some din bow. and it was a mess. nvm la haha... watever we are the second we dun have to do like we are the best. LOL. and i was the last to go up the stage but the first to go down. we were the first to perform. and before going up,( half of the choir were on the stage liao) i still ask teacher, is this testing or performing? haha... haha, then teacher told me its performance... swt. bzeng. 

then after the singing we went "ka teh" at CS. we means me, amy, my bro, sze che, songlin, aikjin, zhuang wen, wenfeng  and sheuwhey( i dunno how to spell her name but it's was the form 2 girl with spec). then after a while wenfeng and those form 2 girls went back so left me, amy, bro, sze chee, songlin and aikjin. i argue with my bro then, about the nasi goreng video clip. WHO THE HELL will cook a cat? i cant accept the truth... CATS? being COOK? its just like cooking a small size tiger or lion. dun they feel scared? y cats but not chicken or somthing else? y cat?? sob sob sob .... then we went back at 11 somthing. so sad i din see the firecrackers...

 and then yesterday night.. i had a nightmare. bad dream... about sombody killing a cat. i woke up and nearly cry. sob sob sob sob and i din sleep well that night. tired. 

today hurts.... i hate today. i hate today. kirai kirai... wat on the earth am i doing? hate myself also. feel angry. very very angry. wth wth....so angry so sad so exhausted. dun wan to think about these anymore. i juz want to sleep forever. yea, forever. which means i want to die liao....T_T no la juz joking.. if i die now i will regret. so dun wan to die yet... about tonight's performance. stupid la...dunno wats going on also. sob sob sob.... its like this everytime when problems come to me. wat the hell am i talking about.. haiz. Oh ya, a collection of Primula. yeah. Primul rulez.

life goes on.... same old boring dayz. haiz. finally i finish my form 3 sejarah revision. but feel more and more empty inside my heasrt. dunno y. it rained today, i hate rainy days.... sob sob sob sob...expecialy when the clouds gathered above my head. it almost makes me cry and i makes me pek chek. wat the hell la? y cant there be sun and clear blue sky everyday? i HATE rainy days. another reason is that i cant control myself not to play with the rain water. i love to play with water, but i hate rainy days which i can play with water. funny. crazy. 

this morning, about 7 somthing i think. the sky was so clear. i love it i love it. but then clouds came to visit, and it rains during Geography time. it makes me sleep. then i say i want to go out to the toilet.i really went to there but before and after that, i went a lot of place. wats so big deal? teacher was not teaching that time. he was busy answering phone calls. Annie was holding a cat, omg it was sooo cute. four legs different colour XDD. then i went to form 6 block with choryang. swt... actually we go there "dian de" only... then to form 5 to collect those namelists.meet koko.. he even woi me for touching the cat. then only i went back to class. and of coz, i played with the rain. love it~

actually now still in gong gong mood la... juz woke up. today got headache. sob. maybe i slept late yesterday night. thats y. not only yesterday, but the day before, even the day before it, i slept at 1 or 2 am. its almost normal for me these days to sleep late. ohh ya, thanks choeyang for entering the choir. i dunno you enter becoz of me (be paiseh) or juz u really want to sing. but if you feel so seksa to sing with them, you can leave... i will try to be strong.

this is the first time i post in english i think. Not once i wrote in English in my blog. but dunno who took away the NJ Star and i am so lazy to write using the internet chinese writting program, so.... haiz...... These days... not really that happy and cheerful coz of some problems. Ppl think that i am childish, ppl have their own topic to talk and yet they wont allow me to join coz, "you are still small la... u no need to listen to all these la...bla bla bla" Jason does this. Amy does this, even friends from other classes are like that. juz like wat Karmen said, his first impression on me is i am a serious girl ( come on, how can i be SERIOUS? lol) but when he knows me more, i am juz a lil kid and very very childish. i dun feel very sad about it, but i dun like to be call a child also. i am 15 now. sob.... and i hate ppl dun let me join in the talk but asking me to go away...

well, nvm, i dun care much about that. next, Nigel. the cause of me keep hitting and punching Karmen and company is that they always talk about me and Nigel. then i whack them... juz like yesterday. karmen said i was in a "WHACKING OTHER PPL"S MOOD". if you dun talk about us two, i wont whack you all. karmen y dun u think about yourself? making a cake? throw it away? feel guilty about it? haha... that makes me laugh...LOL

choryang is a bit sad now... coz she dunno about everything and try to make an answer. poor kid ( is a chance for me to call others kids. haha)... dun think about ppl's matters so much. you will be stress and sad. how ppl treat you is not how your personality really is. ppl got ppl's opinion about you, and its JUST an opinion, so y you care so much?you are still yourself no matter how ppl look you. be yourself is enuff. and about your msn pm... REALLY REALLY MISS YOU THIS FEW DAYS...THOUGH U TREAT ME SO COOL... BUT I STILL MISS YOU" hmm...i wonder who is that... hopefully STEVE?haha.... juz joking la.

i will be singing at the clock tower at 30 Aug night. merdeka celebration. with the choir of coz. wat i want to say is... this year's choir, i am really lonely. no Grace, no YiQing, no JuTing, no YongYi, and the most important one, no Amy. i realise that we always do things together... since form 1, pengawas and the things happening in lembaga pengawas. friends we met, the kursus Kepimpinan, and all those time we tugas. then you join choir, i was not in that year, and we had some conflict that time, so... i dun bother about the choir stuff when i was in form 1. later on... the conflict was over, and its already nearly the end of form 1. yup, the time was flying, and we actually were having a great time when the year almost end, and then many things happen, and form 2 started. fom 2 was a great year to me but my result was not that great, actually its bad. but the thing is, though my results drop a lot, we stil have a great time together. Choir, performing here and there, Choral fest which is a nice experience, and we met the duo, Martin and Marcus, and all the Sarawak friends, and the first time to took a train down to KL. ( a bit sampat rite?) and then the competition. i quit lembaga pengawas and u were still there. and we realised that ppl changed. but we are still together... and as time passed by, form 3 started. it was a tough year to me, coz i have to repair all my studies... but i still join in the choir. i juz cant leave. and choryang leave the choir. becoz of some ppl she dun like in the choir group. and i felt lonely... i was thinking that, will choryang be lonely in lembaga pengawas without me? erm... i dun think so la.. coz Steve is there rite?haha.....

about other friends... atuk dun talk to me much now. duno y, perhaps he is busy studying or wat... nudge him also din reply. sob. Jason... still trying his best to pikat pey chyi. hope that he can success haha... Haoliang, same as before. nth much change in him. Karmen, haiz...haiz haiz haiz HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ~~~ Steve, haizhaiz haiz haiz haiz haizhaiz haizhaiz haizhaizhaizhaizhaiz.........

看了小黄的BLOG，很大的感触。。。我想，我也是这样吧。表面看起来，我和大家很接近，很亲，很friend。但是真正的明白到，我和他们的距离是多么的遥远。So near yet so far。就是这样。看起来很接近的人，其实是很遥远的。而且，最讨厌每次我想知道什么事情，他们就一句，你小孩子不需要明白的。然后等到事情很轰动的时候，我就什么都不知道，然后还被说，你不知道的咩？很久之前的事情了咯。好像全部都是我的错了。什么东西都说我是小孩子不要让我参与。然后就说我迟钝啦，天线底了，什么什么的。都不知道你们到底在想什么。现在是不是我的错我也不知道了。表面上看起来，我真的是很开心的样子。什么事情都是嘻嘻哈哈，然后碰了一鼻子的灰也很开心似的。根本就像一个白痴。

至于90分，其实，这只是一个passing line，90分的passing line 会不会太高了一点？哈哈。我管他，我开心就好。反正你们不会明白的。小孩子的世界啊~~~ 

心情很不好。连续哭了几个晚上。好不容易，昨晚终于好一点了。不然我迟早崩溃。小猫的事情搞得我头大大，满心都是愧疚的感觉。只觉得，是我自己的做错了。好辛苦。大前晚，竟然无法睡觉。就上线。本来是要找人聊天的，但是竟然找补到一个可以聊天的人。当然嘛，都已经十一点半多了。上线的不是在鲜女生就是在拼命在玩game。结果还是Lengchan陪我。当然我没有说我哭了，因为我说我无法睡觉，因为我哭了。然后加一句，我骗你的。然后哈啦哈啦打屁打屁。突然他不见了。结果轮到蝶上线了。但是更加惨的是，很快的她也跟着消失了。我一个人玩game，一个人在无聊的夜晚就这样无聊的过了。

第二哥晚上就还好。但是还是一样哭了。挖卡卡。都不写BLOG，因为无聊。因为不知道要写什么好。昨晚呢。。。一直开歌，在房间里，听FFX的歌，慢慢的睡了。惨的是我忘记放SLEEP，结果半夜被那个rock的music吵得醒了，还骂邻居为什么把音响开那么大声。然后突然发现是我自己的错。。。

奔

灰色的氣壓 扭曲的臉 好悶
生活顏色比天黑
不想負責的就無解
愛情像潛水 氧氣剩一些
無法呼吸的瞬間

開始吧 狂奔的起跑線
視覺像電影剪輯著從前
心跳正在撲通天上飛
拼命追
I WILL GO THIS WAY

自由對於我 是種發洩 就算
愛情變成了洪水
喘了也累了攤在那邊
我就想依賴揮霍著眼淚
對錯歸零出發再了解

開啟吧 狂奔的起跑線
視覺像電影剪輯著從前
心跳正在撲通天上飛
I WILL SAY
YES I CHOOSE THIS WAY

十二點 凌晨交界
黎明前 天還是黑的
自由了 我的靈魂
我狂奔著 拼命追 不會停歇
血液裡流著頹廢
到哪裡都向著明天
天亮了另個起點告別從前

昨天早上﹐聽隔壁的家里有一阵阵小猫的叫声。但是就是一直找不到它。好可怜的叫声。后来我就去学校了，回来还是听到它的声音，听得我心里不舒服，于是就出去找找。但是却发现它已经在我的家外面了。也许因为隔壁已经把车子退出去了，所以没有地方躲，才到我家来的吧。找来找去，终于发现它在我家外面的水沟里躲着不肯出来。

我昨天拿媽媽的江魚仔給他吃(==)﹐但是他都不動﹐而且都一直不肯出來。後來我在江魚仔的上面放了些剁碎的虾，但是它还是不吃。今天早上我起来看到它的碗，却已经空了，也不知道是给野猫吃的还是它吃掉了。但是我还是把我今天的早餐分一半给它吃。还加了江鱼仔。 

妈妈说如果它不走，就让它住在我们家里。哈哈，多好啊，我终于可以养猫啦~

很久没有这样写博客了。最近都是在放歌词。而且都是日本歌词。天知道我发什么神经。但是我真的是很喜欢这些歌。那个爱的MERODII是很很很好听的歌。真的。超级推。其实歌词的意思我都懂不多，但是我喜欢上它的旋律。MERODII。哈哈哈哈。超哈这首歌。爱死KOKIA。但是还是utada最好。

最近都没有什么事情发生。日子平淡得想吐。但是还是没有吐出来。还好还好。但是还是很平淡。也许平淡是好的吧？至少，简单就是幸福啊。最近看一些动漫，像futakoi啦，Mari Mite啦。。。是真的很好看一下啦。Mari Mite很可爱就是了。由美さんとしまこさんがほんとに可愛いです。不行不行，太可爱了。

小黄和蝶的事情结束了。在我还没有发觉的时候就已经结束了说。。。。但是小黄还说有很多事情发生，到头来都没有什么事情。证明说笑黄真的是黄牛。难怪叫小黄。。。。 

最後のキスは
タバコの　flavor　がした
ニガくてせつない香り

明日の今頃には
あなたはどこにいるんだろう
誰を想ってるんだろう

You　are　always　gonna　be　my　love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
I'll　remember　to　love
You　taught　me　how
You　are　always　gonna　be　the　one
今はまだ悲しい　love　song
新しい歌　うたえるまで

立ち止まる時間が
動き出そうとしてる
忘れたくないことばかり

明日の今頃には
わたしはきっと泣いてる
あなたを想ってるんだろう

Yeah
You　will　always　be　inside　my　heart
いつもあなただけの場所があるから
I　hope　that　I　have　a　place　in　your　heart　too
Now　and　forever　you　are　still　the　one
今はまだ悲しい　love　song
新しい歌　うたえるまで

Ah　Ah
You　are　always　gonna　be　my　love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
I'll　remember　to　love
You　taught　me　how
You　are　always　gonna　be　the　one
まだ悲しい　love　song　Yeah
Now　and　forever　Ah

==RomAjI== 

sa i go no kissu wa
ta ba ko no flavor ga shi ta
ni ga ku te se tsu na i ka o ri

a shi ta no i ma go ro ni wa
a na ta wa do ko ni i ru n da ro u
da re o o moo de ru n da ro u

You are always gonna be my love
i tsu ka da re ka to ma ta ko i ni o chi de mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
i ma wa ma da ka na shi i love song
a ta ra shi i u ta u ta e ru ma de

ta chi do ma ru ji ka n ga
u go ki da so u do shi de ru
wa su re da ku na i ko to ba ga ri

a shi ta no i ma go ro ni wa
wa ta shi wa kii do na i te ru
a na ta o o moo te ru n da ro u

You are always be inside my heart
i tsu mo a na ta da ke no ba sho a ru ka ra
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you'll still the one
i ma wa ma da ka na shi i love song
a ta ra shi i u ta u ta e ru ma de
You are always gonna be my love
i tsu ka da re ka to ma ta ko i ni o chi e mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the onema da ka na shi
i love song now and forever